From Whence Cometh Gay Rights: Part 8

[Another reminder to those just joining me: welcome…and this series would be best understood if you read them in order.]

For anyone who thinks that the federal government must step in and stop state and local governments from placing restrictions on homosexual behavior, like the federal government had to in the matter of slavery, I trust we laid that fallacy to rest last week.  Homosexuals have never been denied access to the democratic process.  They have always had an equal say at the lawmaking table of democracy, something that was denied people of color in southern states until the federal government stepped in and overruled their “states rights” on the matter.

“So if discrimination (and slavery) based on skin color was wrong, why is discrimination (legally imposed restriction on activities of a group of people) on the basis of sexual orientation justifiable?” someone asks.  Homosexual behavior, unlike skin color, is not a benign trait.  It does affect the person who is choosing that lifestyle.  It does limit them.  It exposes them to risks that those not engaging in such behavior are free from. It affects people around them.

We could start from the Bible, and ask, “what does God say about homosexual behavior.” Others have documented the biblical position. It would appear that God declares it sinful, and prescribed punishment of stoning in the Old Testament.  I believe the Bible calls homosexual behavior wrong, something to be abstained from…like a long list of other “sins.” I am not going to make the case here.  Nor should any politician.

If the only basis for your political position is your religious beliefs, whether based on the Bible or otherwise, you will lose the political debate. In public policy—politics and lawmaking—we need to be able to make our case for or against law without using the Bible as a primary source.  (Unless you want to impose a theocracy, something that should frighten us, since there would still be humans determining what God supposedly permits and proscribes.)  In public policy matters, it might be framed this way: “God might say homosexual behavior is wrong, but can you prove it by any other means?”

A Christian might balk: “Shouldn’t God’s word be enough?” One can look at God’s word and say, “Since God said it, it must be true and right.” But some of us like to understand further, so we ask with an open heart and mind, “Why do you suppose God said that? Is He simply arbitrary in what He demands…or is what He said based on what He knows about how we are made?  If He knows how we are made, then He knows what works and doesn’t given the nature of mankind.”  Just like the designer of a complex machine knows its capabilities, and knows what should not be attempted. Reminds me of the crazy guys who try to run snowmobiles as far across an unfrozen pond as possible. Despite their best efforts and intentions, the snowmobiles always sink. Duh! Snowmobiles are not made for water and attempts to use them that way inevitably fail.

So when thinking about imposing public policy that happens to coincide with your Christian beliefs, ask, “if I had not read it in the Bible first, might observation of the world around me have led to the same conclusion?” I find that when I try to understand God’s viewpoint, the world around me makes more sense.  Put another way, what I observe in the world around me seems to confirm what I read in the Bible.  So let’s see what simple observation and social studies might suggest about homosexual behavior. It would take a book instead of a blog post to fully develop this issue, but here is my summary version!

Marriage—one man to one woman, lifelong commitment—is a unique human relationship and has always been held in esteem, and should continue to be.  Why?

First, marriage is by design a procreative union.  There is no natural means of perpetuating the human species except by man and woman intimately joining their bodies. But for this intimate sharing, there would be no more humans.  We are physically designed for this. This is an obvious difference from homosexual behavior, no matter whether such behavior is called marriage, civil unions, shacking up, sin or a felony.

Second, men and women are different. (Earth-shattering revelation there, I know.) Neither is superior or more valuable or more important. Neither can continue the species without the other.  We can argue about exceptional men who can be womanly, and exceptional women who can be manly, but the fact that they are exceptions solidifies the fact that there is a general rule. And our differences complement each other.

Men are bigger and stronger, more one-track-minded, do not live as long, are more callous (less emotional/empathetic/sensitive), have a more powerful sexual drive. They are better suited for heavier manual labor and for the protective role. Women are more petite, better at multi-tasking, live longer, are more sensitive and empathetic, tuned in to relationships and feelings of themselves and others, more intuitive, and less impulsive. They are better suited for nurturing, caring for children, teaching, and are exclusively designed for feeding their baby.  They make better homemakers. Which reminds me what C.S. Lewis said: “The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only - and that is to support the ultimate career.” After all, the home is where children are born, nurtured, taught how to live, and prepared to eventually replace their parents in civilization.

The fact that we are so different creates the possibility of a very special relationship. Among many more profound things, it has been said that a wife civilizes a husband, and that a husband strengthens a wife. Together we each become something that we cannot be alone, and something we cannot be with another person of the same gender.

People become better people when we do not allow our physical instincts to master us, but rather control those appetites and look out for the interests of others. Read the scripture—start with the Golden Rule—or look at yourself and those around you for the source on that statement! We know it is true. Laws are made with this in mind, such as laws against drug use. We know that some substances obviously tend to overwhelm a person’s better judgment and cause them to degenerate to their lowest animal instincts. Some activities are against the law not just because you can hurt others, but because you can hurt yourself. Such laws recognize that the physical desire for a rush of adrenalin or hormones overpowers sound judgment.

In old-fashioned marriage—wherein each spouse is vowing from their heart of hearts, “for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part, I am going to give myself to you and be everything I can be to you, and for you, to be all you could hope for in a life companion”—we publicly commit ourselves to the well-being of another person, and particularly, to one human who is biologically our complimentary opposite.  We also commit to a relationship from which creation of new people is a natural result, and to the responsibility that goes with bringing babies into the world. If you go into marriage with this selfless commitment pre-eminent and you choose your spouse from among people with similar core values, you can reasonably expect that your spouse has the same intentions toward you.

My wife says marriage is perhaps the factor in life that has most helped her become more Christ-like: dying to self, getting along with others, serving.  At first that didn’t seem flattering, but on reflection, I have to say the same thing.  Of, course each of us is thinking of very different ways we had to change. But lest this be misconstrued, our marriage also provides greatest satisfaction and happiness on earth of anything I can imagine or have ever tried. (Oh, she says to say the same thing for her!)  And to the extent it has called upon me to be selfless and giving, it has been exceedingly worth it!  Not unlike giving ourselves to God, who repays a hundredfold.

One aspect of this is the differences between men and women in the sexual drive.  I hope this doesn't get too personal. In the Old Testament it is recorded that God told various ones to “be fruitful and multiply.” Whether those commands were literal or figurative, the natural sexual desires placed in men could be interpreted as God’s “command” to procreate: “I want more people to be born!” Following that drive without discipline turns men into animals.  But a man is shaped into a better creature when his love and consideration of the wife to whose care and happiness he is committed confines and restrains these potent instincts. He becomes a more noble person, a more Christ-like human, more understanding of others. On the other side, the wife who loves her husband will give up her own preferences at times, too, and is shaped into a more loving, selfless, sacrificial human being.  Interestingly, the female hormones tend to guide sexual intimacy toward the time of greatest fertility. Hmmm, seems like our Designer really had something in mind here! 

This sexual tension, particularly that compromising nature of it that forces each party to frequently die to their desires and truly love their spouse will not work this way in a same-sex relationship.  Not that two selfish men or two selfish women won’t still disagree about details, because they will, especially if each is in it for what he or she can get.  But the inherent difference between men (microwaves) and women (crock pots) just won’t be there to shape our respective natures!

I can’t leave this topic without agreeing in part with the most critical comment I got as I started this series.  Today’s marriages—heterosexual variety—seem to rarely have the necessary foundation of selflessness.  I hear that some marriage vows now commit to the relationship, “so long as you make me happy.” That sort of vow shouldn’t even qualify as marriage.  This attitude toward marriage has denigrated it to something it never was or should be: a government-sponsored pleasure trip which, when it no longer pleases, you trade in for the next available ticket.  Heterosexual marriage should not be so cheap, and public policy that permits it should be changed. 

Laws cheapening marriage to accommodate the selfish desires of uncommitted heterosexuals has paved the way for ‘gay marriage.’ Easy divorce and ‘it’s all about my happiness’ thinking in marriage policy provides the basis for the arguments the homosexuals are making.  It’s their turn to demand what they want: their own government sponsorship of roughly this same cheapened, disposable, pleasure-trip called ‘marriage.’

Out of time again, so let me conclude with this. Marriage—the traditional, uncompromising, no-fingers crossed, for better or worse commitment to the well-being of a person of the opposite gender—provides two very important benefits to the state:

1. The state benefits if more people are born.  We will tackle that one a bit more in a future post.
2. The state benefits if we become better people: better citizens, better soldiers, better workers, better neighbors, better parents.

Marriage has been an asset to the state, so the state gave it honor.  Next time I will be looking at some of the negative social implications of non-marriage, including homosexual relationships and broken marriages.