Fergy’s Fables: The Money Machine

Once upon a time there was a simple, law-abiding man named Bob.  He had a wife and two children and lived in Fair City.  Bob had a job.  Bob’s wages were enough to get by comfortably, take an occasional vacation, drive a late-model car, eat well and live in a modest house.

But one day a recession came through Fair City.  Bob’s neighbors variously blamed the weather, blamed God, blamed each other, blamed the media, blamed the right wing, blamed the left wing, blamed Wal-Mart, blamed the last President, blamed the current President, blamed the Congress past and present, blamed the rich, and blamed China.  But Bob was a simple, law-abiding man.  He didn’t care who got the blame.  What he cared about was his job.  Because he lost it.  The employer he worked for was not selling as many widgets as it had been, so it laid off a lot of workers.  Including Bob.

Poor Bob!  What should he do?  What could he do?  His unemployment insurance only paid him about 80% as much to do nothing as he had been making when he worked 40 hours a week.  And it would only last for a couple of years.  Bob was in a panic.

Bob had two neighbors who were part of his carpool, and who also lost their jobs.  Doug lived on Bob’s left, and Claude lived on his right.  Bob saw Doug one morning, sitting in his yard with a cold drink in hand, watching a ballgame on the flat screen he cleverly moved to his front porch.  Bob decided to ask Doug what he planned to do.

“What’s to worry about?” Doug retorted. “Our employer is such a creep.  Making money is his only goal in life, and when there’s a little downturn, he lays us all off.”

“But can you get by on your unemployment benefits?” asked Bob.

“Why not?” said Doug.  “I don’t have to drive to work, I still have health benefits, I save a few bucks by cutting back my cable to only seven thousand channels, and my wife still has her government job…and you know that will never be eliminated!” 

“But the unemployment runs out after awhile,” protested Bob.

“Quitcher worrying! Our buddy Durbin (D-IL) is fighting for us in Washington, and will keep extending our benefits indefinitely,” Doug shrugged. Then,  "Hey, d'you see that awesome play!" he yelled, pointing at the flat screen and nearly spilling his cold one.

Bob wasn’t totally satisfied.  His wife didn’t have a government job and he didn’t feel good about continuing to take money indefinitely without working for it.  He looked for an opportunity to ask Claude what he thought about the situation.  This was a bit challenging, because Claude seemed to be gone a lot.

One day Bob saw Claude pull into the driveway in his oldish pickup.  “Hey Claude, been looking for you!” he called out.  Claude hopped out and leaned over the fence. “Yeah?  What’s up?” he responded.

“This whole recession and unemployment thing has me worried.  What are you doing to deal with it?” Bob asked.

“I just use my Money Machine,” said Claude.  “I decided not to sign up for unemployment at all.  I had this Money Machine in the attic. I used it before I got the job down at the factory.  Figured it wouldn’t hurt to try ‘er out again!  It was a little rusty, but after a little grease and polish, fired right up and is cranking out good ol’ American dollars,” he said cheerily.

“Money Machine?” Bob was amazed.  “Is that legal?”  

“Oh yeah, most people aren’t familiar with the ins and outs of how they work, but I was raised on this kind of equipment.”

“How DOES it work?” asked Bob. “Does it create money…from paper, or …what?”

“Oh no, it takes it from other people,” said Claude matter-of-factly.  Bob’s look of shock and horror told Claude he should continue.

“It’s not what you're thinking!  I take my Money Machine to people’s homes and businesses and they give me some of their money!”  He realized immediately that this explanation didn’t help.  Claude tried again.

“OK, look.  The Money Machine makes money for other people, and they share some of it with me.  It has this list of tasks it will do to make other people’s homes and businesses worth more.  It is extremely versatile.  It will mow yards, trim hedges, scrape paint, roll or brush paint, deliver things, fetch things, rake stuff, drive nails, pull nails, clean out gutters, sweep sidewalks, pick up trash, haul out garbage, clean dishes, cook about any food imaginable.  It has very sophisticated artificial intelligence, puts every robot I ever heard of to shame.  If you take it to a business, it can turn things, push or pull things, load and unload things, stack stuff, sand stuff, bend stuff, haul stuff, drive, hook up, unhook, twist wires, pound or press stuff, run a power tool…oh, I could go on and on.  My Money Machine can do about any task a human can do.”

“Okaaay…” Bob wasn’t sure how this thing ended up making money.

Claude went on. “I take the Money Machine to homes and businesses, and ask the owners if there is any task they need done that would be worth money to them.  If they have something to do that my Money Machine is capable of, I ask how much of their money completion of this task will be worth to them.  If they want it done, they let me run the Money Machine and when the task is completed, they give me some of their money!”

“What if they don’t want to give you any of their money?” asked Bob thoughtfully, not quite convinced.

“Well, it’s my Money Machine.  I own it. I don’t run it for them unless they think what it can do is worth some money.”

“What if there is NO ONE who wants ANY task done that your Money Machine will do?” Bob asked.

“Are you serious? “ Claude retorted. “This baby will do just about any task anyone wants done.  I mean, do you know anyone who doesn’t want something done to increase their standard of living?”

“But if you don’t agree on the amount of money they will give you?  Or they just don’t want any money made,” Bob asked, realizing, too late, how lame that last one sounded as it left his lips.  He was starting to wonder whether he should look into one of these Money Machines.

“If they don’t agree to my amount, they don’t want it bad enough.  Or in some cases my Machine isn’t good enough at the task they want done.  I admit, sometimes I have to negotiate with them a little. But it manufactures money for us both, so why wouldn’t they?  For instance, a guy with a $100,000 house offered to give me $2,000 if my Money Machine could make his house worth $104,000.  My Money Machine painted the house and he gave me the $2,000.  He also paid $500 for paint, but who wouldn’t trade $2,500 for $4,000? I mean, it just wouldn’t be rational!” Claude finished with a flourish.

“That sounds, well, difficult.  Wouldn’t it be nicer if someone else just decided how much your Money Machine can make?” Bob mused aloud.

“Well, I suppose it would be easier.  But the ways people can increase their property values, or just enjoy their lives more, are too varied.  Besides, I wouldn’t have the freedom to use my Money Machine where it can create the most benefit to all.  I’ve found that the more it does certain things, the faster it can do those things.  That’s great, because then the more money it makes. For instance, some of the other Money Machines in the area mow faster and better than mine, so people seem to be willing to share more mowing money with them than me.  But I have noticed that when it comes to painting, my Money Machine is one of the fastest, and makes the homeowner more money when used on painting tasks.  So I seem to be getting more of the painting tasks.  I have a couple of months’ painting tasks lined up for my Money Machine right now.”

“So there are other Money Machines in Fair City?” Bob was interested. “This is astounding. Are all Money Machines as versatile as yours?”

“Well, I noticed some guys with real new ones.  They seem hesitant to negotiate, and their Money Machines are slower.  But they were able to take some real simple tasks down at that new business that opened up.  They are the sort of task ANY Money Machine could do about as well, so they aren’t making the business as much money to share.  Still, using their Money Machines is better than sitting around wondering about your future on unemployment!”

Bob sighed. “I always thought the way to get money to live on and enjoy was to…get a job…from an employer.  I think I am going to look into getting a Money Machine.  Can I take a look at yours?”

Claude smiled, brushed the front of his overalls and stood straight.  “You are looking at it,” he said.

The Moral

Every able bodied person is a Money Machine.  It is up to you whether you use yours. This story was inspired by a dear friend who lost her job and refused to sign up for unemployment.  After using her Money Machine the old fashioned way for a few months, her work ethic was so obvious that a stable and growing employer—for whom her Money Machine did some painting—offered her a much less physically demanding, full-time position more like the one she had before being laid off. 

But she could have been like Doug.  Blaming everyone else for how tough life is, while he sits watching TV, drinking cold beverages and ruining his health.

If you are keeping score, this post is about: (1) liberty: freedom to freely use your Money Machine to help others and agree upon the value of your time, (2) morality: doing more for others than you demand of them, and not taking money from your neighbors (via government programs) when you have the capacity to carry your own weight, and (3) faith: see 1 Tim 5:8 and Gal. 6:5.